Read along with some Australian music I'm listening to: "Roll Away Your Stone"- Mumford & Sons
Adelaide, Barossa Wine Valley Tour..."really how many times can you hear the word 'cock' in your tour guide's commentary and not giggle..."
After days of driving I was looking forward to a break from all the sightseeing and traveling. I was looking forward to a sleep in and a casual wander around the city...so naturally, that's exactly what did NOT happen.
I'm staying at the Adelaide YHA in a 5 bed dorm with my friends traveling from Melbourne--Frenchie (Aurelian), the Canadian (Ludmilla) and the UK couple (Jack and Kelly.)
The YHA set up here is pretty nice and the facilities are brand spanking new and shiny which makes communal showering much less depressing! I barely had time to drop my bag when the UK couple (from here on I will refer to them as 'people of motherland') screamed bloody murder for me to get my butt in the travel lounge. Apparently they needed me to cough up $60 since tomorrow we were leaving for a wine tour at 7.30 am...
Me--"Excuse me? What time did you say the tour was leaving?"
Pomies--"Oh come off it Stef, you know you're coming out with us! What else have you got on for tomorrow?"
Me--"I have a date with my pillow in the morning, and I'm poor."
Pomies-- "Drunk by 10 am, meals and snacks included."
Me--"Right, I'm sold."
So, we were off in the morning. Destination: Barossa Wine Valley, where apparently the finest wines in all of Australia are produced.
I was skeptical at first, I mean come on! South Australia is the driest state in the driest country in the world and it's supposed to be pumping out fine wines? Let me tell you, 6 wineries later and not in the least bit sober or coherent , I can admit I was dead wrong!
Before pulling into the first winery our driver/guide pulled over the side of the road to look us over, very carefully...
Driver--"Since you guys look like wine touring 'beginners' I'd like to take a moment to teach you the basics for a proper wine tasting..."
We smiled politely, pretended not to be highly offended and listened to him make a complete fool of himself as he did every pretentious thing you could do to an imaginary glass or wine. He checked the light for clarity, he swirled the glass, and he inhaled the imaginary grapes like it was his last dying breath. He didn't once crack a smile when the Aussie in the back yelled out 'Just bloody skull it!'
I was staring out the window, daydreaming and slowly realizing that we were on a one lane road that was inexplicably faced with two way traffic... The car heading towards us had to swerve onto the grass to avoid us, and I swear I saw a shaking fist...
I tuned back to the bus and inappropriately burst out laughing when I heard the Aussie grandma shut the driver up, catching a really scary look from the driver... I stayed as far away from him as I could for the rest of the day.
Well, me and my crew were the only ones under the age of 40 (or maybe 65.) I don't know how that happened, and we tried our best to be as responsible and mature as possible...we did pretty well until the 4th winery came around.
At that point we were stumbling into the wineries and serving ourselves. We managed to convince the pourers to open up the good stock, bottles ranging in the $100 and up stock! In between winery 5 and 6, the driver found us and leaned in gently to tell us we were supposed to spit the wine out after sipping it. I politely nodded my head and scooted away down the bar, laughing...right, like I paid $60 to spit out my wine! Who is she kidding?! (The driver was in fact male, but for some reason in my journal notes I kept referring to him as a 'she...')
Let me save you the embarrassment now and reassure you that the Langley name was not tarnished! I was able to respectfully walk (drag?) myself home at the end of the tour, and as far as memory and photo card memory shows we were all very civilized and well behaved.
And if not, well it was a damn good day anyways!
Our lunch was in an interesting town called Nuriootpa (no I'm not drunk, that's the correct spelling.) I was craving carbs to clear my head and somehow settled on a kangaroo steak...gamey but damn tastey!
The best part of this town was what the waiter told me about the view from my window. The highschool next door is a wine-producing school! They have an entire class dedicated to wine-making! The kids can't even drink their own stock; it's bottled and sold to the local markets and the teachers get routinely smashed when grading terms come around. Aha, only in Australia!
Now, a wine list please. Check your local liquor stores and get in on the action! Here's a few labels and my favorite selections:
- Wolf Blaas Gold Label: Rieslings, Roses, Shiraz
- Simpatico Wines: Sparkling Viognier, Cab Sauvignon
- Grant Burge: Moscato Frizzante, Miamba Shiraz, Lily Farm Frontignac 2009
- Kies Barossa Valley: Klauber Block Shiraz, White Barossa
And Muscat...I was introduced to something truly spectacular: Muscat slushies. Stick a bottle of sweet muscat in the freezer and save it for a hot summer's day. When poured out it stays in slushie form and cools you to the core! Yummmmm.
Some extra fun bits about Barossa Valley: it's home to a massive wino-nudist colony; its social club is called the 'Cockatoo Club'; the locals' game of choice is 'shuttlecock'; and the vineyards are regularly 'cockled'....I have no idea what that last word means, but my guide said it with such pride I had to write it down!
...really, how many times can you hear the word 'cock' in your tour guide's commentary and not share a giggle with your mates???
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