Posted: Aug.2010, Written Dec.2009
Right now...it's the morning of the 25th for you, so Merry Christmas!!! I've got 97.3 Coast FM tuned in on my lap top right now, and sappy Christmas songs are making me sentimental...time for a mass email then! I hope the family's together somewhere, and having an awesome holiday season now.
My Christmas celebration was last night...and even though I was far away from friends and family in America, I was surrounded by new friends and family here in Thailand. (Much improved from last year's lonely beach getaway!) Lek (the founder) invited me to celebrate X-Mas with her at Elephant Nature Park. They were planning a huge feast and a jungle party with the elephants...they offered to put me up and promised me I didn't have to work or do any manual labor to earn my keep--I was very happy with this arrangement.
I decided to rent a car, and brought Chad and his wife along too. They're fellow Americans and recently moved here to Chiang Mai, so they don't have any friends of their own yet. They're great people and also from South Florida- so they bring a little piece of home with their company. We rented a truck and made our way to the park yesterday afternoon.
Before pulling off into the jungle, we stopped at a Tesco-Lotus supermarket to stock up on goods. We were just planning to buy one or two bottles of wine, but of course it was 4 pm. Between the hours of 7am-11am, and 3.30pm-5pm you're not allowed to buy alcohol in stores and supermarkets (something about keeping kids from buying booze.) We were sad and putting the bottles back when one of the store clerks added with a wink and a smile "if you buy 12 liters, OK."
12 liters of alcohol....that would come out to 14 massive bottles of beer, and 3 or 4 bottles of wine....We knew this was going to be a good night! We loaded up our stash and were off to the park again. (Kicking ourselves later, for not remembering to buy painkillers for the hangover this morning....) I was fully expecting Lek to stash us somewhere in the park, out of sight out of mind and more importantly out of the way! However, she saved the VIP bungalows for us; bungalows in the park I never knew existed! Big plushy king sized beds, fluffy pillows, and private showers....definitely an improvement from the usual hut I live in when I'm leading projects at the park.
Dinner at the park was a feast, as usual...but my highlight was dim sum! OOOOOOOOOooooooohhhh dim sum with shrimp and pork, and BBQ (Thai style, with grilled chilies), and of course cheap French wine to keep our throats from getting dry. After dinner people from the local village swarmed the park and Santa came on stage to give out presents sponsored by ENP to all the kiddies and their families. Christmas music and carolers started the evening off alright, and it was just starting to feel like home...until the mahouts (elephant handlers) came out.
The mahouts are all minority peoples, from remote Burmese villages. So imagine my shock and surprise when they swarmed the stage in short skirts and costumes that were glittery, feathery and sparkling, and enough make up to actually look pretty as girls! They did a series of traditional dances set to flutes and drums which was normal enough...but they pranced around on stage in drag! These men are little, but incredibly strong! I mean they spend their days bossing massive elephants around and living off the jungle, so they have to be tough! I think I was more shocked at how good some of them looked as girls...how did they manage to make their make up look so nice??? And their short skirts... *shudder*..., they definitely were not aware of having to keep your legs together when you're in a skirt!
Then the lady boy cabaret show began. They hired professional dancers and DJs from the city for this event. These girls (or men?) were HOT! Beautiful bodies and costumes made it soooooo easy to forget they were men. (Which I think caused some physical confusion for some very drunk mahouts later on that night...) Anyways the dancers were incredible! The music was everything you expect- Gloria Estefan and Aretha Franklin and a nice mix of Korean pop. I'm embarrassed to admit that when "I will survive" came on, I pushed myself onto the stage for a bit....I blame the cheap Filipino beer for that move. And I WILL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN AT THE PARK FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE.
One of the ladyboys spent the entire night performing with her right boob coming out of her sparkly bikini top...of course she couldn't feel her boobs, so she had no idea! For nearly one hour we were all glued to her boob, thinking one of two things: men, thinking 'why does this feel so wrong?'; girls, thinking 'damn they're nicer than mine!' I wonder what the small children thought....they definitely got more than an eyeful! Then...Patty came out. Patty is the lady boy who runs the ENP office in Chiang Mai city. She's one of the sweetest people in the world, always giggling and smiling. (She came out to the hospital when I was sick to check on me now and again, always keeping me company.) She was definitely the star of the show, doing a solo number as a Chinese pop/folk star in full traditional wardrobe....no words can describe how bizarre this was.
After the lady boys left back to Chiang Mai, the dance party began...and this is about the time my memory starts to fade. I remember Chad grabbing another bottle of wine, and then...everything goes black from that point on. I remember dancing, on stage and off, and taking a ton of photos with the staff. And then I remember Burm (one of the staff and a good friend) walked me back to my bungalow and actually tucked me into my bed. Ohhhh, soooooo bad.
This morning was brutal. I stayed in bed until I thought I wasn't going to die anymore and faced the music. Literally, when I came out everyone started making fun of me singing and dancing "I will survive." Ugh, I'm pretty sure I was filmed during that too. Lek gave me a beautiful present, a silver pendant with the personalized ENP logo to add to my charm necklace and I left the park feeling like I had spent one of the best holidays I could have asked for away and alone from the family.
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