Mothers are on my mind a lot these days...This week I have unexpectedly found myself assuming the role of primary care 'mother' for 3 little girls (each of them only 9 years old.)
Every morning I wake up the girls for 6 am meditation. Following meditation I send them to the children's rooms for bathing and after they've dried and dressed they come back to me for braiding hair, brushing tiny teeth and eating breakfast. Since it's the school holidays they spend the remainder of their day following me around. Where I go, they go. They've spent hours playing outside, watching movies on my computer, and reading Thai lullabies to each other on my small floor mat (as they are doing exactly at this moment.) At night, the teenagers will usually crowd in my room to watch a movie (it's the Star Wars saga this week they're into) and by 10 pm I have to kick everyone out to get the little girls to sleep at a reasonable hour. We enjoy a night-night reading session before it's lights out, a kiss on the forehead each, and a few hours of peace and quiet for me to catch up on my own reading before we do it all over again tomorrow.
How exactly did I find myself responsible for 3 little girls? Destitute mothers, that's how. Here on the Thai/Burmese border, poverty is a daily struggle for both the Thai population and political refugees fleeing Burma. Many parents in this village are simply not able to feed their children, let alone pay school fees that would allow their kids to break this cycle of poverty. In our home, we offer a solution to break this cycle of poverty (free education for children) and the home provides vocational training, support and opportunities for single mothers to gain employment and sustain themselves along with their children.
However, for some mothers this is not enough. Some mothers have become so broken and hopeless that they seek only protection in the arms of a man. Jasmine's* mother left for this very reason, last week. After 6 years of living in our home and doing well in her battle against depression, Jasmine's mother snuck out of our home last Thursday, with hardly a goodbye, leaving behind her four children:Jasmine, her older as well as two younger brothers (the youngest only 3 years old.) To make matters worse, and certainly more confusing, she left following not quite a man but a Tomboy (a girl who identifies herself as a man.)
This has been especially hard on the children, and no one is certain what the future may hold for the mother. Will their family ever be reunited? We honestly don't know. Jasmine has since asked to stay with me, in my room, with the company of two of her best friends. Our sleep over has extended more than a week now, and they're looking to move in full time if I am ready to accept that. Today Jasmine has asked me if she can call me Mom, and I respond with smile and a cuddle each time she talks like this, however I haven't yet quite figured out how best to navigate her emotions nor mine. The little girls are precious and the positive attention I give them every day, well I can see that they have gone a long time without it. I'm happy to give love where I can and certainly to those who are in need, but surely I need to think carefully about what effects my decisions (and these circumstances) will play in my life. It's a waiting game for now...
Yours Truly,
Stef
* Names have been changed to protect the privacy of our children...
Now, nearly two weeks later the girls have settled in with new care mothers and so far they seem to be adjusting well. The little girls are still allowed sleepovers from time to time, with permission from the moms of course, and this suits everyone just fine!
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